I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
