If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
