I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
id be glad to
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
