I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
