I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
