Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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