i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
