HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
