Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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