If i come over, it means nothing
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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