I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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