where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell her she can't have a vagina
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this beer tastes like vomit already
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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