WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
