There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You're like the curious george of whores
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
