my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
