You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
