so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
