so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can't special order awesome
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize