You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
