There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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