Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're too hungover to prance.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
