Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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