Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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