Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
