I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
