East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize