I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
