I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
