Don't you send me to vm
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
