a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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