Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
