Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
