Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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