he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
