I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
