This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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