I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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