and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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