She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
