CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
