i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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