one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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