I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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