I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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