pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
