In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize