Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
