just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
