whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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