You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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