I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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