i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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