Can Purell be used as lube?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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