you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
