I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
