who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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