i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
