I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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