the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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