that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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