Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
