So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
